


Easy

by taint3dhalo



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 22:45:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taint3dhalo/pseuds/taint3dhalo
Summary: A retelling of the first book from Peter's perspective





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely loved the movie, which made me read the book, which made me loved the ship even more so. I wanted so much more Peter and Covinsky scenes though so, here it is. I hope that you enjoy!

Peter sighed when he saw a car pulled over, badly dented, as he slowed down for his stop at the intersection. 

 

He saw a familiar face with an unfamiliar emotion. 

 

_ Lara Jean Song Covey _

 

He rolled down his window and called out to her. She prompted him to go on but it was the scared look on her face that made him pull over to at least make sure she was okay. 

 

“Do you have Triple A?” he asked.

 

“Someone is coming,” she replied, her voice tiny. 

 

He didnt know what else to say but he figured that maybe it was best if he didn’t. She just looked like needed someone else with her, as though she had lost another important person that day.

 

He caught her throwing side glances. He really wished he knew what to say to her. He doesnt deal well with serious situations, even the ones he would find himself in, he would find a joke somewhere.

 

“Where were you headed?” her voice broke the silence.

 

“To Gen’s”

 

As though some sort of sixth sense, his phone buzzed.

 

_ Where are you? Are you seriously late again?? _

 

“Speaking of,” he said.

 

She was being smart with him. As he entered his car, he smiled to himself from her remark. To the rest of the school, she had a reputation for being a cold - emotionless. If only they knew who she really was.

 

_ Yea, a shady bitch. Same feather as Chrissy. She just hides it better -   _ Gen’s voice filled his head after that. 

 

As he drove to Gen’s house, he thought about his former friendship with the second elusive Song girl. Margot had a reputation of Serious Student, perfect in every aspect. He knew that Lara Jean was more quirky. She was curious, asked random questions and was less ashamed of who she was. Maybe the comfort that she thinks no one notices her, gives her the strength.

How very wrong for her to think that no one notices her. 

 

Ever since her mom died, he saw her take on a more serious facade as though to help Margot fill that role. He remembered her as his second kiss, something that he did unprovoked. He knew how Gen felt about him, especially how aggressive she was to make sure that he knew she was interested in him. Lara Jean, he knew, acknowledged that he was cute but insisted there was nothing else. He liked them both, thought they were cute in different ways. 

 

He had already kissed Gen and hoped that his kiss with Lara Jean would bring some clarity to him. He was young afterall. He remembered his dad saying that he didnt have to be tied down to one person and that love was complicated.

 

After he kissed Lara Jean, Gen went into overdrive. They were declared a couple, Lara Jean faded from their lives and all he had were glances of her on the bleachers with that asshole, Josh Sanderson. 

 

Every once in a while, he would see the Lara Jean he once knew. Whenever she was laughing with Chris or in a heated discussion with Josh and Margot.

 

He wondered what does she think of him these days.

 

He remembered the smile and the sincere thanks she gave him when he asked if she was going to be okay.

 

Maybe, just maybe, she still thought that he was a decent person.


	2. Breaking Up is Hard To Do

“Cmon, Gen,” Peter found himself saying. “Are you seriously doing this?”

 

It had been a few days since Lara Jean’s accident. He went over to Gen’s house and after a quick session of sexy time, Gen went back to her phone to answer a text. They left for a party thrown by a senior but Gen practically stayed glued to her phone, texting back and forth with this person that she didnt feel that Peter was entitled to know about. 

 

He may not notice a lot of things. He definitely is aware of how disconnected Gen has been the entire summer. She had been picking fights with him, acting more distant than usual.

 

Right now, he was at her house, again. They were supposed to go to another party - this time a shindig for the start of the school.

 

It didnt take Peter long to find out what the text messages were about.

 

“Yes,” Gen said. “Peter, you mean a lot to me and I dont think that I can continue lying to you like this.”

 

Gen filled him on the details. He had only heard the rumors but knew not to put any money on it. So far, they were right. He was in UVA, a freshman enrolled early to take some easy credits during the summer. They met at her job. There was one more detail he heard that he wanted confirmation.

 

“Did you cheat on me?”

 

“No”

 

_ Lie. _

 

“Gen,” Peter said exasperated. “We have been together for four years. The least you can do is owe me the truth.”

 

Gen looked down to her shoes, “I haven’t. I am not that big of a bitch that people make me out to be. Maybe emotionally? If that counts?”

 

_ Still lying. _

 

“That definitely counts. Your cosmo article said so.” he was being spiteful.

 

“Listen, Peter,” Gen sighed, her voice cracked. “ Four years is a long time to be with someone, especially when we are this young. I really like this guy. This is hard for me too.”

 

More spite, “You just blindsided me with this. How can this be a relationship if you just run off to any guy that you want? A relationship takes work. It takes communication.”

 

Peter realized how much of his mother’s words he was speaking. This was right before the divorce when he heard his parents fight. He realized why he was particularly triggered by this. Gen reminded him of his dad and how much he took his mom for granted. His mom would cave and come back as often as his dad wanted until she had enough and served him the divorce papers.

 

The more he realized that Gen essentially was counting that Peter will be back as soon as she was done with her fun with this Blake dude, the angrier he got. 

 

“You have it, Gen,” he said. “You go have fun with your new guy. Just don’t come crawling back to me coz you had enough.”

 

He was done being so-called whipped by her. He left before she could even say anything back.

 

As soon as he left the house, he texted Gabe to let him know that he wasnt coming over. He also let Gabe know that he and Gen broke up. He was sure that the message would be passed among their friends if it had not yet. News travel fast within their group. Gen made sure of it.

 

_ Whatever, dude. Yall would be back by Homecoming _

 

Peter grimaced as he texted back:  _ No. This is it for sure. I am done with her and everything _

 

_ You okay, dude? _

 

_ Yea, Just want to be alone for a while. If thats okay. _

 

_ Course. I’m here for you brah. _

 

Peter smiled. 

 

New school year, new single Peter. Maybe he can use this time for himself and what he actually wants to do.

  
  
  



	3. You Got Mail

It took the rest of the summer vacation for Peter to be more than okay of what had happened. He blocked Gen on all social media (deleting would be too permanent) and started training more to keep his mind off of the situation. His friends were worried of his sudden retreat but he assured them that he just really needed to be alone.

 

Darrell dropped by to make sure Peter was alright. Peter knew he would be bad company since he wasnt feeling it. Darrell pointed out that Gen had brought Blake over to the last party, which Peter was thankful he didnt attend. 

 

“Listen, dude,” Darrell started to say. “I respect that you need time to heal and stuff but don’t spend all your time wasted on that bitch.”

 

“I thought you guys liked her,” Peter said.

 

“We tolerated her,” Darrell said. “You can do better. Plenty of fish in the Kavin-see.”

 

“Haha,” Peter said dryly.

 

“Im serious,” Darrell said. “You can literally have anyone in the school. It doesnt matter who. Just literally say the name and that person is yours.”

 

Peter’s mind started to wander back to Lara Jean. The way she smiled at him with grateful yet crying eyes. How funny would it be…

 

Who would be the one person Gen not expect him to get together with?

 

“How about Covey?” he asked.

 

“And you say that I come up with bad jokes.”

 

“I mean it.”

 

“No way, dude,” Darrell replied. “Sanderson would make sure you wouldnt come at least 50 feet of her. And even if you managed to get through that, she makes it very clear we are not on the same field. Remember, what happened to Martinez?”

 

How could he not. Tommy had at least five girls hoping that he would ask them to Homecoming. He took his chance to ask Lara Jean. Tommy specifically approached Peter, knowing that he had history with her, no matter how ancient. 

 

When it came time for Tommy to ask, Peter watched as she widen her eyes and then looked down, saying thank you but no. She turned around and practically rushed out of there.

 

Tommy was so bummed that he ended up taking the first girl who asked him. Lara Jean didnt even show up with a date, which wounded Tommy even more. Tommy took it that Lara Jean thought she was too good for him but Peter had to reassure him that she, in all essence, is that dense. 

 

They said that Gen had this way of people pay attention to her. He wondered if Lara Jean knew she had the same effect.

 

“You said anyone,” Peter reminded Darrell.

 

“I didnt think you were this ambitious.”

 

\----

 

School started with such a blur that Peter forgot about his conversation with Darrell about Lara Jean. He did find out that he had two classes with her - gym and chem. There was nothing he can do in gym, which was whatever. 

 

But for chem, he saw her at the seat near the back by the window. She always picked the same seat in whichever classroom she was at. One of the nerdier teammates, Jason, said it was like she was an anime character, the main one would always pick this particular seat to look out wistfully. 

 

He didnt know what Jason meant by that but she always had the same expression on her face - like she was waiting for her life to begin, playing different scenarios in her head.

 

However, perhaps without meaning to, he sat himself in front of her during chem.

 

Honestly, his mind was back in Gen more times than it should be. He still felt obsessive about Gen’s whereabouts. It, thankfully, had tapered off. Some. 

 

Word, as usual, went around quick. They were kind when they said that it was a mutual breakup. He supposed it was somewhat true when he said that they were completely done. 

 

He had to waver through the assurances that he just had to stick it out longer and that they would get back together. He hated hearing that more than anything.

 

When he got home after conditioning, he saw a bright blue envelope on the kitchen table. His name in girlish cursive.

 

_ So it begun…  _

 

The first confession letter since he and Gen broke up. He knew there would be more that would follow. He had been kind to not let other people know that the reason why he went out with  Jamila was because she confessed her love to him, the fourth person who had done so. He was touched by what she said that it was enough to see where it goes.

 

_ Who could it be this time? _

 

He was even more confused when he recognized the handwriting.


	4. Apology Not Accepted

He read the letter. He read it again. And again. And again. So many times that it seemed like it was committed to memory. 

 

It was different from the other letters he had received. Different from the other confessions. This was raw, steeped in history. There was the honesty that Lara Jean reserved for people who know her.

 

But it was specific part that got him: 

 

_ You probably make her feel very special. Because thats your talent, right? You’re good at making people feel special. _

 

He frowned though when he read what she didnt like about him. He never gets the last slice of pizza and even if he did, who cares? It is just going to sit there forever, he learned that the hard way. He definitely doesnt have an STD - how could he when he has been faithful and he only had one partner. 

 

How on earth could this had been a love letter when it started out by how much she detested him and then ended it with saying that she was almost over him?

 

She always manages to catch him offguard.

 

Regardless, he vowed that he would at least take this year off. He already knew what to do. He would have to set her straight tomorrow, despite the feelings back from seventh grade bubbling up to the surface.

 

\----

 

For someone who had gone through the trouble of writing, buying a stamp and mailing such a personal letter, she acted nonchalant. If Peter had not received the letter, he would not have an ounce of a clue that she felt the way she did about him.

 

Peter didnt know what to do about a girl who seemed to have a massive crush on him but didn’t act on it. This made rejecting her trickier.

 

She was jogging next to Chris, animatedly chatting away. Peter stared at her but she would just throw glances his direction, more out of curiosity on why he kept looking at her.

 

“Let her go, man,” Darrell said, throwing the frisbee to him. “She is on a different field than you.”

 

“What?”

 

“Lara Jean,” Darrell said, trying not to draw attention that he too was eyeing her.

 

“It’s not like that.”

 

Peter eyed her, decided that if she was not going to approach him, then he would. There were still some things that he needed to clarify with her before he can properly reject her. Some things that were very important to his reputation.

 

Finally, on their third lap, Lara Jean definitely noticed him staring at her. This was his chance. He jogged towards them and said, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

 

After he managed to shoo Chris away. He watched their tiny nonverbal exchange, he noticed something weird. Her act was not one at all. She really didnt have a clue what she did. It actually made him a little angry. How can she be so casual about this? 

 

He had rehearsed in his head what he was going to say, now feeling more and more angry as she paid him little mind. She looked at him politely with a mix of annoyance, as though he was going to ask her help for chem and she didn’t have time to help him. He was going to start her off by thanking her since the letter did help him not think of Gen as much. 

 

Instead he said: “Just so you know, I dont have any STDs.”

 

She dropped her jaw, “I never said you had an STD!” 

 

“I also dont always take the last slice of pizza,” he continued.

 

“What are you talking about?” she quickly returned back to her stone cold face.

 

Now he was really angry. How dense can this girl be exactly? First she insults him, tells him that she loves him, says that she doesnt anymore, ignores him for almost four years, sends him a letter as soon as he and Gen broke up and now, she isnt even taking responsibility for any of it?

 

“Thats what you said. In your letter. How I’m an egotistical guy who goes around giving girls STDs, remember?”

 

“What letter? I never wrote you any letter!”

 

“Yes. You. Did. It was addressed to me, from you.”

 

The glacial queen of Adler High melted right in front of him.

 

It was actually kind of funny watching her face convey a range of emotions that he was not aware she was capable of. He was used to getting confessions from other girls, even when he and Gen were together. This was different. This was from the usually quiet Lara Jean Song Covey. She closed her eyes. 

 

Now he felt kinda bad. He pulled the letter from his pocket.

 

“Lara Jean?”

 

She opened her eyes, absolutely distressed. What little color she had on her face drained even more so. She looked like she was about to vomit.

 

“How - How did you get that?”

 

“It came in the mail yesterday.”

 

_ Now this is the part where I have to turn her down and let her know that it’s okay she was in love with me. However, I would have to put me first. _

 

“Listen, its no big deal. I just hope that youre not going around telling people -”

 

She was less interested in hearing Peter turn her down than she was making sure she gets the letter back. Peter wanted to keep it, it was honestly the sweetest thing anyone has done for him and nothing compared to it - even the letters that Gen would write for the 48 months they have been together.

 

It was getting funnier watching her be so uncomfortable while trying to play it cool. He made it a point to apologize for so-called stealing her first kiss (what a romantic, gross). She wasnt interested in that apology either. She succeeded in getting the letter back, to his dismay, and ran off the opposite direction. 

 

Darrell was right. She really was on a different field than them.

 

Maybe he didnt have to turn her down and this letter was really meant for something that didnt involve him.

 

Whatever it was, he was sure Lara Jean could figure it out.


	5. Surprise

Peter looked around Ms. Wooten’s office, bored and sleepy, as she went on about how he still needed to keep his grades up if he wanted to stay on the lacrosse team. The caffeine hadn’t kicked in yet for him to deal with this right now.

 

He smiled as charmingly as he could, cooed the promise that he would do better this year.

 

He watched Ms. Wooten softened her expression. Ha. 

 

“I mean it, Kavinsky,” she said, trying to harden her expression. “The shenanigans you pulled last year nearly cost you your position. You are a really talented player but you need to keep your grades up.”

 

“Maybe if you offer me a list of tutors that can help me,” said Peter suavely.

 

“We can work something out but please, try to keep your focus. We don’t want you to start the year off with the wrong foot.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“You’re free to go”

 

\----

 

Peter walked down the halls, not really focusing on anything. He felt eyes on him, like he usually does. He was so used to being watched and now, it was even more evident that he was single.

 

There was one person that caught his attention - well, two people. He saw Lara Jean leaning against her locker, with Josh Sanderson’s back facing him.

 

She looked the same as she did yesterday - uncomfortable and squirming to get out of whatever situation she was caught in. She talked with more animation and it was so pitiful how much she was sinking. She locked eyes with him and he saw them widen, filled with determination.

 

_ God, she is so cute. How funny would it be if I save her from this? What should I do? Go up and kiss her? _

 

She called out his name, which caused him to stop. She then leapt up to him and he caught her, reflex from how Gen would do the same thing whenever she wanted people to see he was hers. Her legs were around his waist, arms around his neck. She smelled a nice mix of coconut - definitely from her shampoo - and rose - probably from her lotion.

 

She looks at him, wild-eyed. She knew what she needed to do but was so hesitant to do it, he could tell. He raised his eyebrows, matching her expression. Perhaps more amused than her at the moment.

 

“Lara Jean,” he said, “What the -”

 

She didnt let him finished his sentence as she kissed him.

 

There was where he felt something he had only experienced a few times he would kiss Gen. His heart felt like it both stopped and was beating fast. He felt breathless, metaphorical waves crashing in the background. He remembered lamenting over these scenes in rom-coms but this time, he understood.

 

He kissed her back. Simply.

 

She pulls away and said in a tone that he only heard once or twice from Gen, with the utmost sincerity, “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Before he could say anything else to her, she took off running again.


	6. Wait... what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback <3 it means a lot to me that you guys appreciate it. It does feel nice to write out these scenes out

He usually likes Lara Jean. She, more often than not, doesnt care about all the high school drama.

 

Not right now though. For someone who could blend in the background, she managed to cause the biggest splash since news broke out of his and Gen’s breakup.

 

Throughout the day, he had to dodge the question of the day: How the hell did he manage to get Lara Jean Song Covey to kiss him. 

 

His teammates kept badgering him and the girls wanted the story straight from the source. Gen just stared at him with dagger eyes, not saying a single word. He relished on her reaction, actually.

 

Lara Jean was basically MIA all day. Sources said that she would magically appear in class and then disappear before anyone would even notice that she had slipped out, which was really interesting considering where she sat at every classroom and her habit of staying behind after the class ended to get more explanations from the teachers.

 

He thought that the whole issue was put to rest, assured by her. He really didnt want to turn her down.

 

“Bro,” Gabe said, for what seemed like the umteenth time that day.

 

This time in the second class he shared with her and the last class for the day - gym. Coach White was introducing them to the weight machines but since he and his teammates were excused, they were free to do whatever they wanted for the period.

 

“What,” said Peter, dribbling the ball to set up for a free throw.

 

“She keeps looking at you.”

 

“Has she?”

 

“Yea, she keeps looking like she wants to talk to you.”

 

“Watch this,” Peter grinned.

 

From the corner of his eye, he waited until Lara Jean looked his way. When she finally did, he turned to face her and winked. She recoiled from the interaction and he wanted to laugh.

 

He was not used to these type of reactions at all. He kind of liked it.

 

\---

 

Peter knew the routine. She was probably waiting outside for him so that she can confess her love and then he would have to turn her down. He really wasnt in the position to date anyone, even if it were to fulfill his supposed childhood dream of dating Lara Jean.

 

Several text messages appeared on his phone, all saying the same thing. 

 

_ She is waiting for you _

 

He sighed. He hated this part. He absolutely does.

 

He walked outside and saw her by the lockers. Her eyebrows were pinched together and if Peter had not known better, she was probably waiting for someone else. She was like a duck, he knew that about her. Completely still on the surface but furiously thinking with thoughts and ideas coming to her.

 

“Hey,” he said, walking past her, hoping that he can avoid the conversation all together.

 

“So about this morning,” she started.

 

_ Here we go… _

 

This conversation didn’t take the turn Peter thought it would. While he was going to let her down gently, Lara Jean completely ripped that in half, in every possible way.

 

It was intoxicating in a way. Peter Kavinsky - the guy that everyone seemed to give into his bullshit and Lara Jean Covey - the girl who seemed immune to his affections.

 

When Peter thought he would have to set the record straight with Lara Jean, he wasn’t expecting to still find the hidden personality of the girl that he liked so long ago.

 

There was an air of authenticity Lara Jean had that was missing from his life. In a way, it grounded him different than how Gen did. She didnt do it to be malicious, she did it because she had no reason to hide.

 

She explained as briefly as she could on why she kissed him. She panicked and didn’t want the true object of her affections to confront her with the letter. Peter was the first person she saw and so she went with it. She knew she messed up but assured him that she will fix this without needing any more of his help.

 

Peter was a little perturbed by how little she thought of him, though. Even though she insisted it was her drama she needed to fix, she didnt realize how much it had impacted him within his social circle. 

 

Somehow, though, her actions reminded him of the Lara Jean he knew back in middle school. He thought that because her mother died, Lara Jean pulled back her personality but it brought him some relief that the scheming girl was there somewhere.

 

Still, there were three things he learned from her that afternoon:

 

  1. She sent out five letters total. Including to the one who she really likes - that tool Sanderson.
  2. Underneath the callous exterior, was the old Lara Jean he remembered fondly. He missed her. 
  3. She is really funny



 

Maybe he can have some fun with this. What’s the harm in the moment, right?   
  
  



	7. Flashback

_ It was just beginning of lunch period, where Peter was hanging out with a mix of his friends and Gen’s friends at the table of the center of the cafeteria. He had just finished his lunch and now was idly chatting with the people surrounding he and Gen.  _

 

_ Peter took a swig from his Gatorade bottle, slowly caressing Gen’s hand. She was animatedly talking about whatever the latest purchase she made, courtesy of her dad, of course. Peter knew the real reason why her dad splurges on her. She turned to him and sweetly asked if she could have a backrub, instead. _

 

_ His hand moved towards her back, slowly rubbing it. _

 

_ “Feels so good, baby,” she cooed. _

 

_ Peter smiled back as she went back to talking to friends. He wasnt as interested with the latest sport game that his friends were talking about but offered a few comments here and there.  _

 

_ “Oh my god,” Gen said, with a mix of disgust and amusement. “Look at what that Lara Jean Hoe-vie is wearing this time.” _

 

_ Peter’s eyes followed to where Gen was looking at. _

 

_ He always liked how she dressed since it was different from the rest of the girls at school. _

 

_ This time it was red sweater with a polo shirt underneath, the collar sticking out. She had on a black skater skirt and paired it with combat boots. There was nothing really provocative about it.  _

 

_ Lara Jean pursed her lips, looking around. He assumed it was for Chris, her only real friend. Which was funny since he knew that Chris never ate lunch at school, much less at the cafeteria. Lara Jean was forced to be here, meeting someone whom she normally didnt. She started typing away and then kept her eyes on her phone. _

 

_ He watched her narrow her eyes at her phone before texting away furiously. She was not going to give in this easily, he knew that. Whoever was texting her clearly didnt. _

 

_ She looked up from her phone and then directed her attention right at their group. She looked incredibly frustrated and awkward about having to head over there. Peter knew there was no way she was going to approach them. Even if she had a legitimate reason, she would rather take the loss. _

 

_ “What’s wrong with it?” one of the girls asked. “I think its really cute.” _

 

_ Poor baby, Peter thought. The girl who spoke as a freshman and just started dating one of his teammates. She had no idea how much trouble she will be for such an innocent comment. Gen whipped her head at the girl and narrowed her eyes. Her eyes had a malicious glint. The girl recoiled that Peter felt he needed to say something. _

 

_ “Yea,” Peter agreed. “It’s kinda cute. Yall would end up wearing something like that.” _

 

_ It would be easier for Peter to deal with Gen’s wrath than this new girl. He had dealt with it plenty of times and it would be enough for this new girl to enjoy one more week with her boyfriend before Gen found a way to break it off. _

 

_ Gen focused her attention to Peter, her eyes still narrowed. Peter could tell that she was mad by how much her face as squeezed up. Her breath became slow and even, this was even worse than how mad she would normally get at him. Judging by previous experiences, he knew that they were probably going to break up again later today until she finally calmed down and then they get back together.  _

 

_ “Damn it, Covey,” Michael, a teammate who was also on academic probation, said, breaking the silence. “I gotta go.” _

 

_ “What’s up?” asked the freshman, who just so happened was dating Michael. _

 

_ “Just have to meet someone to go over the test,” he said.  _

 

_ He collected his things and stood up, “Catch you guys at practice?” _

 

_ They said their goodbyes as Michael walked towards Lara Jean. She looked relieved when she saw Michael and they walked out of the cafeteria. Peter knew they were heading to the bleachers, where Lara Jean felt at ease. _

 

_ “I would be careful if I were you,” Gen said vaguely, facing the freshman. _

 

_ “Come off it, Gen,” Peter rolled his eyes, not rubbing her back anymore. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Lara Jean stealing anyone’s boyfriend. It’s not like she actually talks to any of us.” _

 

_ Gen looked back at Michael, he had never seen her this mad. The freshman felt self-conscious enough that she lamely said she had to go, probably going to Michael.  _

 

_ Gen didnt talk to him until later in afternoon when they both were done with their respective practice. He wasnt surprised that she met him at his car, it meant that Gen was going to break up with him while he drove her home. _

 

_ “You embarrassed me today,” she said, getting into the car. _

 

_ “Because I stopped you from being mean for no good reason?” he asked as he inserted the key into the ignition. _

 

_ “I have a good reason.” _

 

_ “What is it then?” _

 

_ “I dont have to explain myself to you.” _

 

_ “Fine. Then don’t.” _

 

_ “Explain to me, baby,” Gen said as cold as possible. “Why do you always feel the need to take her side? Like, for real, any time that I bring her up, you just want to defend her. You really made me look stupid in there.” _

 

_ “I dont have to explain myself to you,” Peter echoed her words back to her.  _

 

_ “Yes, you do,” Gen argued. “I don’t have to explain my reasons why I don’t like that bitch but you do have to explain why you don’t take your girlfriend’s side.” _

 

_ Peter sighed. Gen did have a point. “I will tell you that I don’t do it for her. I do it coz I dont like it when you talk down to people.” _

 

_ “Especially Lara Jean.” _

 

_ “No,” Peter said, his tone even. “People. I don’t like it. I don’t like that you are so mean. That poor girl didn’t know your rules.” _

 

_ “She is going to learn.” _

 

_ “Why should she learn? Why can’t you just leave Lara Jean alone?” _

 

_ “Because I see how you look at her,” Gen spat. _

 

_ “Because you point her out!” _

 

_ “You know what I mean!” _

 

_ “No, I don’t!” _

 

_ Gen huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. She looked outside the window, refusing to even acknowledge what Peter had said.  _

 

_ Peter groaned, hoping that Gen would finally explain that particular sentence. How Peter looked at Lara Jean was a sore spot for them, it was actually a huge reason for their fights and sometimes he just wished that Gen would just spell it out for him.  _

 

_ “Please tell me how I look at her,” Peter pleaded. “I dont know what you mean. I never know what you mean. Do you just want me to never look at her again?” _

 

_ Gen didnt respond. Her body still reacted icily towards him. The more the seconds passed, the heavier the atmosphere got in the car. Peter started hoping that she would say something. Anything. _

 

_ As though she read his mind, she said, “Maybe you should date her instead of me.” _

 

_ “Maybe I will,” said Peter, calling her bluff. “Maybe I will even write her notes everyday and put my hand on her back pocket. Maybe I will convince her to come to the ski trip this year and ask her to meet me at the hot tub.” _

 

_ “You’re an asshole.” _

 

_ “Whatever,” Peter said, as he made a turn towards her house. “You love me.” _

 

_ \---- _

 

As Peter laid in bed, he started to wonder how would Lara Jean fix this supposed mess and more importantly, how can he get even with her. His phone buzzed one more time, he wasn’t interested in checking the message.

 

Maybe he will go along with this little plan of hers for the weekend. Maybe he will tell Josh Sanderson that he should go for Lara Jean. Thankfully his mom had asked him to go down to an estate sale this weekend so he can avoid the questions and the comments. He was surprised that of all the people who spoke to him today, not one of them was Gen.

 

She knew though otherwise she wouldn’t have her friends trying to get him to confirm that Lara Jean kissed him. 

 

Still, it was fun talking to Lara Jean again that was a little more than just pleasantries. 

 

As he drifted off to sleep, now he really hoped that he could have asked Gen what she meant whenever she brings up how he looks at Lara Jean.

 

Out of reflex, he checked his phone for the message.

 

It was a full number but he instantly recognized it as Gen’s. 

It only said three words: WHAT THE HELL


	8. Revenge of the Jock

Peter entered the back office of his mom’s shop without the chairs that she had requested him to get from an estate sale. He also didn’t have an eye to get something else that might make up for it so he returned empty-handed after what seemed like a three hour trip.

 

He checked his phone and saw that Gabe asked if they were hanging out later that evening. There was a party happening, like every weekend it seemed. He texted back, saying that he will be there.

 

He found his mom responding to emails from potential buyers and sellers. 

 

“Hi, honey,” his mom said.

 

He explained to his mom about what happened and his mom seemed a little disappointed but was grateful what Peter had done for her.

 

The shop was as busy as usual so he knew that his mom would want him to run a few more errands.

 

“I will need you for one more thing,” his mother said. “Please run down to McCall’s to get Owen’s english books. It just needs to be picked up from customer service but I havent paid for it yet.”

 

“Sure thing,” Peter said, already heading out of the office.

 

He walked to the bookstore and headed straight to the customer service desk. He waited for a few minutes until Josh Sanderson came to assist him.

 

“Hello,” Peter smiled at Josh. “I came here to pick up for Kavinsky.”

 

Josh returned his smile like a good employee that he was, “I know that it is here somewhere.”

 

Josh turned around to the hold shelf, looking for the package that they had set aside for them. 

 

Peter watched Josh carefully, starting to pick apart what Lara Jean even saw in him. He was nerdy but still fit. He knew that Josh was part of the track team but he joined it clearly for the college apps, which Peter didn’t appreciate.

 

Josh reminded Peter of another childhood friends, John Ambrose McClaren. Another one he knew that Lara Jean liked. He seemed dull if Peter was honest.  However, there was this wholesome charm to him, Peter can admit to that but he didnt seem like he was the type of person who had ladies fawning over him.

 

As Josh started scanning the books, he finally asked, “yep, so, you and Lara Jean, huh?”

 

“Yep, so me and Lara Jean,” Peter mimicked, not even paying attention.

 

“When did you guys started going out?”

 

His tone made Peter take double take.

 

Wow, Peter thought. Josh wasnt being subtle at all. The friendliness from his eyes disappeared but he still had a smile plastered on his face. Peter didn’t appreciate feeling like this - actually, there was only a handful of times when he felt like he was looked down on.

 

Peter was going to tell him that they werent but something about Josh’s tone instantly changed his mind.

 

“I don’t think -”

 

“I guess I am just trying to see how that happened,” Josh laughed, as hollow as ever. “You just dont seem like her type, is all. I mean, she is she and you are … you.”

 

Peter felt his jaw tightened. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Please don’t think I’m insulting you,” Josh said. “I mean, I can’t help but look out for her. She is like a little sister to me and you being her first boyfriend...”

 

Peter was extremely offended. Even more so by what Josh was insinuating. If Josh was a bro about this, he would have actually helped out Lara Jean with her crush. He could tell how they both felt about each other.

 

“We literally just started going out,” Peter said, changing his mind at that moment.

 

There were a myriad of reasons for Peter to say what he did. And a million more why he shouldnt.

 

Josh stared at him, making Peter feel small again. Just because Peter was a jock, he could not recall a reason for Josh to stare at him with such disdain. If anything, Josh had gotten him in trouble for cheating on a quiz and Peter didn’t even retaliate, despite Gen’s urging.

 

Instead, Peter knew that he had to take control of this situation as diplomatically as he could.

 

So he continued, “It’s still so new and came as a shock to me, especially by how she jumped me yesterday.  I really do like her. Like, really really like her. I can’t wait to see how far this goes.”

 

The shift in Josh’s face was well worth the fib. Lara Jean can thank him later. At least for a little longer, he can play this little charade.

 

As Peter got his shopping bag, he smiled at Josh and said, “I’ll make sure I will say hello to her for you.”


	9. Declaration

“Hey, whats up!” Peter said cheerfully as he entered Eli’s house. He fistbumped one of the football players, not really knowing what his name was.

 

He walked towards the kitchen to grab himself a drink when he saw Gen together with a boy with sandy brown hair. She slowly caressed his arm, smiling as tenderly as ever. Peter groaned before leaving the kitchen with a cup full of beer, wanting to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible.

 

He took a drink from his cup as he headed outside by the pool.

 

Eli lived a little farther out of town, surrounding by fields so the likelihood of cops being called were slim. His parents were away often as well so it was a prime place for parties to happen. He didnt know why he agreed to come here to begin with, but maybe it was better than sitting at home. 

 

The cool wind pushed against his skin and the stars twinkled on a dark night. He sat down on a pool chaise chair and whipped out his phone to check instagram. 

 

He was sure that one of his closest friends would find him in a few minutes so maybe he can chill out here before going inside to face Gen again. He wasnt expecting her to flaunt the new guy in front of everyone, feeling a little disgusted that this college student would rather party with some high schoolers.

 

“Hey,” Jason sat down on the pool chaise next to him. His girlfriend, Piper, followed not too far from him.

 

“Whats up,” Peter said, not looking up as he continued scrolling through his phone. Jason and Piper eyed each other and they started giggling amongst each other. They were clearly getting drunk.

 

“You two have been together for a while now, right?” Peter asked, remember something that Jason had mentioned when he introduced himself to his team.

 

Jason and Piper went to the same middle school as Gabe. Jason was an amazing player and Piper was definitely one of the smartest girls in his grade, up to par with Margot, actually. Peter sometimes think that they would have the title of the Power Couple of Adler High, but they were more quiet about their relationship.

 

Piper worked hard to make sure that she wasn’t just a girlfriend of the state’s best lacrosse team. Most people wouldnt have guessed they had a long term relationship since they were nonchalant about it.

 

“Just as long as you and Gen had been together,” Jason said. “Five years, right, babe?”   
  


“Wow,” Piper said. “So you can count.”

 

“C’mere,” Jason said, lunging towards Piper as she collapsed into a fit of giggles. Jason started kissing her neck before kissing her lips. Piper looked at Jason and smiled, “I love you.”

 

Peter tried not to stare. It was hard to imagine that he and Gen had cute moments like those, as they were usually soured by her attitude and his apathy. Peter and Gen knew how to act in public but it was always something different behind closed doors.

 

“I’m getting another drink,” Piper declared.

 

“Water for me,” Jason said. “I need to try to sober up.”

 

Jason watched Piper leave, before turning to Peter, “I am going to marry that girl one day.”

 

“Uhm,” Peter said. “Have you guys ever broken up?”

 

“Once, right before we started high school,” Jason said. “I was miserable. We broke up the summer before high school and then I spent the rest of the time trying to get her back. She said that she wanted me to have the high school experience but I told her I wanted it to experience high school with her.”

 

Peter suddenly felt envious. He had seen them fight but it was never as hysterical as he and Gen would get. In fact, he wouldnt have known that they fight unless Jason would announce it.

 

They always looked like they were in their own world together. Peter thought that the feeling of routine was normal but here was Jason and Piper, who still looked at each other with pure adoration.

 

Jason turned to Peter, “I’m glad that you and Gen broke it off. I don’t care what the rest of them say.”

 

“What are the rest of them saying?”

 

“That you guys will be back together before the year ends.”

 

“That’s not going to happen. Who is saying that?”

 

Before Jason could say, Piper came back with two cups on each hand, looking extremely annoyed, “Sober up fast, babe. Drunk Gen is getting on my nerves again.”

 

“What she is doing?” Peter asked.

 

“She is trying to take bets when you are crawling back to her when that boy went to the bathroom.”

 

Peter huffed, “She and I are done.”

 

“Thats not what she is saying,” Piper said. “She keeps saying that youre just using Lara Jean to make her jealous. She is like livid, going on about how you are her property and she will make sure that another girl won’t touch you.”

 

“I am not her property,” Peter said, through gritted teeth. “That is fucking bullshit. I am so sick of people asking me about this.”

 

“I mean,” Piper shrugged. “People are gonna say what theyre going to say. The nerds are just as confused as you guys.”

 

“I thought Lara Jean doesnt have many friends.”

 

“She doesnt,” Piper agreed. “As far as I know, she only hangs out with her sisters and Chris. Well, Josh too but that got weird over the break. That’s why I’m happy that you two got together.”

 

Peter looked up to Piper’s smiling face, “Youre the first person who said they were happy we are together.”

 

“I’ve only talked to her a couple of times,” Piper shrugged. “I think you two complement each other. She just gets so fucking scared all the time. Like maybe you can make make her less scared to live. You know what she is doing right now? Organizing her closet. Its in her fucking instagram. Her nine-year-old sister has more of a social life than her.”

 

“She has instagram?”

 

Emily stumbled over towards them, unable to hold herself up, “Peter! I have a bone to pick with you.”

 

“Fuck,” muttered Piper. 

 

“When are you and Gen getting back together?” Emily slurred. “This has gone - gone - on far too long. Like Lara Jean? Really?”

 

Peter seethed, not wanting to give Emily the satisfaction of an answer.

 

“Like, you belong with Gen,” Emily continued, not even realizing that Peter didn’t respond. “Or at least tell me how it happened.”

 

“Is this Gen wanting to know?”

 

“Yea,” Emily said. “Is using Lara Jean your plan to get back with her?”

 

Peter got up from his chair and marched right inside the house, ignoring Emily’s calls for him to come back. He spotted Gen back in the kitchen, without her new boy in sight. He walked towards her with such deliberation that caused some people to stop what they were doing and turn to see what the car crash of a fight they were fixing to have.

 

“Do you really want to know what’s going on between me and Lara Jean?” he asked her.

 

Gen didnt say anything as she crossed her arms and glared at him. She eyed him up and down and her face just had the expression to try her.

 

“Too. Bad,” Peter enunciated the words.

 

With that, he left the party. 


	10. An offer

Peter stared at his chem book, not knowing what was going on. He spent most of the class period, plotting on how he could get Lara Jean’s attention after class. It was hard for him to tell whether she kept up with the gossip in school. He figured that she got most of her information from Chris but Anonybitch’s account was quiet about what happened at the party.

 

Just as luck usually is on his side, he felt a kick from behind. He turned around and saw a pinched-faced Lara Jean. She handed him a note and he turned around to read it.

 

_ Why would you tell Josh that we were a thing? _

 

He was so upset about what happened at the party, he had forgotten about his conversation with the douchebag.

 

Covey was so awkward. A thing? She’s funny.

 

_ A thing? Haha. _

 

_ Please answer the question. _

 

This was his chance, he thought. He found a way to get her attention but now he had to find a way to keep it. 

 

_ We’ll talk later _

 

He heard her gave a frustrated sigh but didn’t receive another note about asking where and when, which was really unlike her. For the remainder of the class time, he tried to devise a way for her to accept a plan he had came up with yesterday. He intended to wait until after class was cleared to talk to her but ended up leaving with his friends, having no excuse to wait inside the classroom.

 

Thankfully, one of his friend’s locker was close to the lab so he can chat with him while he kept an eye on the door. As soon as he saw that the teacher had left but didn’t spot Lara Jean, he took his opportunity.

 

He knew that she liked to stay behind to clarify whatever the lesson was. Since the lesson introduced a new concept and she probably wasn’t paying as close of attention, he was pleased that his gamble paid off. 

 

“Shit,” he said as he was heading back to the classroom. “I forgot something. Go ahead without me.”

 

He entered the classroom and saw it’s only occupant was Lara Jean, putting away her notebook into her bag.

 

He hopped up on the table and looked at her, “So, let’s talk.”

 

Memories and old feelings came back to him as he watched her compose herself. He knew the furrowed brow meant she was trying to process what was going on. She always had been cute to him, maybe he shouldn’t have called her quirky but he didnt know a better word to use since that word just described who she was to him.

 

“Why did you tell Josh that we were ... together?”   
  


“I don’t get what youre so upset about. I did you a favor. I could have just as easily blown up your spot.”

 

“So why didnt you?” 

 

Peter thought about telling her the truth. He didn’t like how Josh looked at him and how the conversation played out.

 

He pivoted, “You’ve sure got a funny way of saying thank you. You’re welcome, by the way.”

 

“Thank you,” she responded. As soon as she said it, she looked confused that Peter tried not to laugh. He remembered how easy it was to tease Lara Jean. Despite knowing how booksmart she was, he was reminded just how gullible she could be too.

 

Lara Jean continued, “I appreciate you letting me kiss you, but -”

 

“Youre welcome,” Peter repeated, trying hard to stifle his laugh.

 

He looked at Lara Jean, her hair tied tightly in a ponytail, which was a shame. Her almond eyes gave a playful glint and her facial expression matched his amusement. She looked up thoughtfully, choosing her words carefully.

 

“That was … really generous of you. To let me do that. But I’ve already explained to Josh that its not going to work out with us because Genevieve has you whipped, so it’s all good. You can stop pretending now.”

 

Now it was his turn to be sour. 

 

“I’m not whipped,” he glared at her.

 

He also knew that his reaction was enough fuel to burn Lara Jean’s fire. He knew that she was going to keep rolling with it. He had forgotten that she doesnt get mad like Gen and cut the conversation, she gets even.

“But arent you, though?” she pursed her lips. “I mean, you guys have been together since the seventh grade. Youre basically her property.”

 

It was one thing to have to hear it from his friends. Did it really seem like Gen controlled that much of him and his free time?

 

“You don’t know what youre talking about,” he said, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere else.

 

Her eyes were mischievous and brimming with curiosity, he remembered that look very well. The same eyes that lead him to kiss her back then. 

 

“There is a rumor last year that she made you get a tattoo of her initials on your butt for her birthday?”

 

She reached for his back and he yelped. She collapsed into a fit of giggles, a melodic sound that Peter had only heard from a distance the past three years. The same giggle he was so used to hearing five years ago. It still was the same now as it was then.

 

“So you do have a tattoo!”

 

“I dont have a tattoo,” he yelled, getting annoyed. “And we are not even together anymore, so can you stop with this shit? We broke up. We’re over. I’m done with her.”

 

“Wait, didn’t she broke up with you?”

 

“It was mutual.”

 

Lara Jean looked like she was at a loss for words. She recovered quickly by adding, “I’m sure that you’ll get back together soon. You’ve broken up before, right? Only to get back together again, like immediately. It’s probably because you were each other’s firsts. Thats why you cant let each other go. I’ve heard thats how it is with firsts, especially with guys.”

 

Peter’s mouth drops. First, she does keep up with some of the gossip, he learned. She definitely gets her info from Chris.

 

Second, why did it feel like no time had passed between them?

 

“How did you know?”

 

“Oh, everybody knows. You guys did it freshman year in her parents basement, right?”

 

Peter nodded, not really wanting to confirm. It was then he learned how to deal with rumors and what were true. He learned that if he doesnt offer information, no one can say anything.

 

“See?” She said. “Even I know, and I’m a nobody. Even if you do stay broken up for real this time, which I doubt, it’s not like any other girl can date you. Let’s not forget about Jamila Singh.”

 

Peter let her ramble for a little, now just staring at her thoughtfully. He saw the Lara Jean he knew from the cracks she gave him last week. Now, he knew for certain that she was there. She probably had never left. 

 

Maybe with Gen leaving his life and Lara Jean entering the way, maybe it was a sign. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he schemed from the night before.

 

He was hoping a talk with her would clarify if she could be willing to play along. After all, it was literally her idea from the start.

 

Lara Jean trailed off, looking really nervous.

 

“What?” She said, breaking him from his reverie.

 

“Let’s just do this for a while.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Let’s let people think we’re a couple.”

 

Lara Jean raised her eyebrows in surprise. Her eyes starting looking around the room, which told him that he was going to have to really drive it home. She is already thinking how could say no and leave as quickly as possible.

 

“It’s driving Gen crazy not knowing what’s up with you and me. Why don’t we just let her sit on it a little longer? It’s actually kind of perfect. You date me first and then Gen will get that we’re over. You’ll be breaking the seal.”

 

Lara Jean looked confused. There was his opening to pay back what she teased him with earlier.

 

“Do you even know what breaking the seal means?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Of course I know what it means,” she said, in a tone Peter knew was a lie.

 

He got up real close to her, enough to make her take a step backward. Her reaction made him laugh as he placed both his hands on her shoulders. As he cocked his head, he said, “So then break my seal.”

 

She let out a nervous laugh, “Sorry Peter, but I’m not interested. In you.”

 

_ I need to bring this home,  _ Peter thought.  _ She has to agree to this. What did Piper said about her? She gets scared. How can I make her not scared? _

 

“Well, yea, thats the whole point. I’m not interested in you, either. Like, at all. So what do you say?”

 

_ There. I am not interested in you. Youre scared of love so I will take that out for you. _

 

Lara Jean shrugged, enough so that he wasn’t touch her anymore. “Hello, I just got through explaining to you how Gen will kill any girl that goes near you.”

 

_ So, she is scared of Gen. _

 

“Gen’s all talk. She’d never do anything to anybody. You just don’t know her like I do.”

 

Lara Jean didn’t say anything but she still looked unconvinced. So Peter deduced that it wasn’t Gen she was afraid of. Someone else. Someone more important. The whole reason why she started this mess of a situation to begin with.

 

“It would help you out too, you know. With that Josh kid? Weren’t you worried about losing face in front of him? It could save you from humiliation. Because why would you be with him when you could be with me? Well, pretend be with me. Strictly business, though. I can’t have you falling in love with me, too.”

 

Lara Jean smiled and said as sweetly as she could, “Peter, I don’t even want to be your pretend girlfriend, much less your real one.”

 

Peter blinked. He thought that was enough to sink her. “Why not?”

 

“You read my letter. Youre not my type. Nobody would ever believe I would like you.”

 

_ What would Gen say? What would Gen do? Think, Peter think. What did she … oh… _

 

“It’s up to you. I’m just trying to do us both a favor.”

 

Peter shrugged and looked over her shoulder. Being with Gen had taught him a few tricks to get what him what he wants.

 

“But Josh definitely believed it.”

 

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

 

_ Got her. _


	11. Backfired

Peter normally doesnt show up early for school but since it was going to be the first day that they were going to actually show the school that they were together, he had to be there before Lara Jean.

 

There was no way they could pull this off, he thought. He was planning for maybe a day or two of them being a couple to shut people up and then she would be back out and they can go back to normal.

 

His plan had a three-fold purpose: piss off Josh, get even with Lara Jean and prove to that he can move on.

 

He saw the school bus park and noticed a familiar scrunchie emerged from one the seats.

 

He got out of the car to confirm that, sure enough, his - Peter Kavinsky’s - girlfriend was taking the bus.

 

He sighed when she reminded him her car was getting repaired. There were certain unspoken rules that couples from this school had. One of them was that they tend to arrive together, especially if one had to take the bus.

 

This was going to backfire really badly.

 

He reached out for her hand and headed into the school. She was barely keeping pace with him with their hands linked together. He saw Emily’s mouth drop and several people stopping to look. He felt her hand squirming from his grasp whenever he stopped to say hello to people.

 

He squeezed her harder as she attempted to free it. Holding hands was another rule that she was unaware of.

 

“Your hand is too hot,” she hissed.

 

“No, your hand is,” he responded through clenched teeth.

 

He lead her to her locker and dropped it there. She gave him a pissed-off look before she opened her locker to grab some books.

 

Having done this several times, he leaned as she closed the door to kiss her.

 

Having not done this at all, they banged their foreheads together that it made such an audible sound. He winced from the pain and started rubbing the sore spot.

 

“Ow!” he said as he glared at her.

 

“Well, dont just sneak up on me like that!”

 

“Lower your voice, dummy,” his tone as low as possible.

 

“Don’t you call me dummy, you dummy,” she matched his tone.

 

Peter sighed, really annoyed with himself that he had not thought this through. He knew that Lara Jean had never been in a relationship before but this was going to be a lot tougher than he initially planned.

 

She contorted her face as though she was about to yell at him. Something - someone - past him made her change her expression. Her eyes widen and her breath started to quicken. Peter wanted to reach for her hands so that she can stay put but they were holding the straps of her backpack.

 

“Gotta go,” she said as she run the opposite direction.

 

“Wait,” Peter called out, but she was too far gone.

 

Peter groaned as he turned around to see an amuse-faced Gen. She started clapping her hands as she approached Peter.

 

“That was spectacular,” Gen said. “Amazing acting by the great Lara Jean. What did you do to get her to do this? It’s not like you have much to offer.”

 

“I don’t,” he found himself saying. “But it wont stop me from trying to offer my world to her.”

 

Cheesy line, he knew but it was Gen’s favorite line to hear whenever they cuddled together.

 

As Gen’s eyes soften, he understood that he had delivered a really low blow towards her. Peter instantly felt a twist in his stomach, no matter how bad things got between them, she was still someone special to him. 

 

“Excuse me,” she said, breaking their little standoff as she walked past him and glided down the hall.


	12. Rolling

Peter drove home after the team decided to meet at Tart and Tangy, a yogurt shop close to school. The drills were particularly hard that day to the point the team collectively decided that they needed something to treat themselves with. While he was there, he had to endure the ribbing from his friends about the disastrous first appearance he had with Lara Jean.

 

But it was not as bad as the headache he received from the headbutt this morning.

 

He thought it was going to be easy. They were going to act like a couple, doing couple things and then be done. He wasn’t expecting so much resistance from Lara Jean.

 

Actually, he did. However, in his mind, they were going to try this for a few weeks, maybe a month before she had enough. They would break up and then move on with their lives.

 

He was surprised when he saw Lara Jean sitting on his front stoop, scrambling to get her phone from the ground.

 

“Look who’s here,” he said, raising his eyebrows. “My adoring girlfriend.”

 

She stood up and waved, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

 

He slung his bag over his shoulder and took his time to walk over there. He was definitely feeling sore and was thinking of taking a bath to release some of the tension from his body. He sat down, with Lara Jean standing over him, looking extremely impatient.

 

“So what’s up,” he said. “Let me guess. You’re here to back out on me, am I right?”

 

She just looked so adorable right now, he had to admit that. Her cheeks were flushed from the bike ride. Her usually pin-straight hair was slightly messy from the helmet that was resting on his stoop. He recognized her facial expression from when they were kids, it was the same look she had whenever she didn’t want to admit that he was right about something.

 

As though she read his mind right before he pulled up, she decided that they needed to get their story straight and come up with a few rules for their contract.

 

He became more aware how much he had missed their back-and-forth bickering, just like how they used to be friends.

 

It wasnt fair to Gen. He did had fun with her, he wouldnt have been with her as long as they had if they didnt. 

 

But he also acknowledge that he couldnt truly be himself with her. It was like she had a mission to portray her life to be ideal when it was anything. The teasing that came naturally to him, annoyed her and he had to put her fragile feelings ahead of his personality. Gen’s public life was very important to her and so having the most desirable guy was important to her. The person happened to be him and it was the role he had to play.

 

Lara Jean was the complete opposite. She proved time and time again that being in love was more important than who she was in love with. Her letter was proof of it. She rejected the very idea of being with him for the sole reason of who he was but more importantly, who he represented.

 

For the first time, in a very long time, he felt like he could be himself.

 

She made it easy for him to do so. Especially whenever she would play back.

 

She asked him how long would this last.

 

He initially wanted it to be a few weeks, a month like she had suggested. It was enough time, at least for a majority of high school relationships to last. Enough time for people to get the hint but was it enough time that, after this situation was done, they could remain friends.

 

He shrugged. “For as long as we feel it.”

 

She protested against it but he cut her off, informing her that she needed to relax.

 

“Life doesn’t have to be so planned. Just roll with it and let it happen.”

 

She declared that it had to end before Margot returned from school for Christmas break. By then, he was certain that this would have ended as he didnt see this lasting longer than at least Thanksgiving break. Even more so, he hoped he can gain an old friend back from this.

 

They both signed the contract. She tucked it away in her back pocket and then looked at him and his car.

 

He waited for her to ask for a ride back to her house but instead she put the helmet back on her head and pedaled down the street until she was gone from his sight.

 

He chuckled as he entered his house.

 

As of this moment, he was just going to roll and let it happen.


End file.
